After you've found yourself in a rut & you're coming up out of that fog, it is hard not to beat up on yourself for being in that rut in the first place. Your self-esteem takes a hit & you second-guess everything. So, what can we do to boost confidence when we are in this delicate state of mind?
Take control of how you think.
The first thing I can suggest from experience is to take back your mind. I call my negative thoughts “The Bitch.” She is a bitch! She treats me horribly. The Bitch belittles me at every chance she gets, steals my joy when things are well by causing me to second-guess my success — even the little things, & she is just not healthy to keep around.
The problem is that she is part of ME. So, I tell her to shut up. When I have a negative thought, I shut it down with a positive thought — even if it feels forced. I read empowering books. I drown The Bitch out. Am I always successful at this? No. But, I make a concerted effort & it really does help.
Be mindful of the company you keep.
It will do you no good to quite The Bitch if you have external versions of her all around you. It might be even harder to do, but it is imperative that you get rid of the toxic relationships in your life! If you have friends or even family members who do not bring out the best you, I strongly urge you to consider cutting them loose.
Maybe it is… But YOU are worth it… & life is WAY too short to let people drag you down. If they cannot treat you with respect, talk to you lovingly, & support your goals & dreams & efforts to attain them, WHY are you giving them precious space in your world?
Give more care to how you treat yourself.
Do you see how all of these things are tied together? Just as you need to be mindful of your thoughts & the company you keep, be more aware of how you treat YOU. What you say, what you do, how you talk about yourself, how you take care of yourself: It all goes back to how you TREAT yourself.
You are worth it.
Would you let a friend talk about you the way you do? How do you take care of yourself? Do you get in a bit of sunshine or stop to “smell the roses” every now & then? Are you your worst critic or your best advocate? It makes a difference. I will always be working on this, I think… But, I am working on it. Everything from being more encouraging (rather than condemning), being more loving (instead of disdainful), to simply exercising more & stopping eating when I am no longer full. Ya feel me? 😉
Take more pride in how you look.
I know this can be a slippery slope. I don't mean you need to go out & get plastic surgery — unless it is something you've honestly researched & truly feel is appropriate for you & your circumstances… But, I do mean putting on a touch of makeup if it will help you hold your head a little higher. Maybe even get a new outfit or two. Go get fitted for a bra that fits you right instead of one that barely does the job.
There is nothing — absolutely NOTHING — wrong with being comfortable & not wanting to cater to societal “beauty” standards. I totally get it. I do. Trust me. BUT, if it isn't serving YOU, why are you fighting so hard to make a statement to people who aren't even paying attention? Do YOU. BE YOU — & if putting on some natural-looking makeup to accent your already-beautiful self & wearing clothes that actually fit will (or might!) help you feel more like YOU, why not give it an honest shot? You might be surprised at how much better you feel, inside AND out.
Find ways to work with your chaos rather than against it.
What is your biggest anxiety — your biggest source of chaos in your life right now? Is it something you can actually control? Chances are, probably not. So, why are you constantly trying to? Why not find ways to work WITH the things you cannot control instead of always being in a battle?
For me, one of my biggest sources of chaos is my own mind. I am on a seriously hellacious roller-coaster ride in my own brain. It is EXHAUSTING. When I try to control whether I am depressed or whether I am going to be teary-eyed for a day or two or if I am going to be as productive as I think I should instead of just being as productive as I am able, it sends me spiraling further out of control. SO, I try to STOP. This blog is one of the ways I sort out my thoughts & put them into a format that might help others while I help myself.
What do you have you YOUR life that you can turn to work WITH your chaos instead of against it? I bet there are a few things…
Come chat with me about it! Leave a comment, email me, or Facebook message me. You are also welcome to join our community; strike up a conversation or lurk until you're compelled to participate. Either way, you're welcome to join us while we all figure this out together. <3