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I am a pretty honest person. At times, brutally honest. I'd rather keep my mouth completely shut than tell a lie. . .
But, is keeping a secret sometimes the same thing as lying? You know. . . A lie of omission? I've always been inclined to think so.
When is it okay to keep a secret?
To protect someone's feelings, maybe? If telling them the truth is going to hurt their feelings, perhaps it's better to lie? No. . . Even then, I still think it's better to “rip the band-aid off” by telling the truth & letting the healing process begin. . . Even in keeping it a secret & not actually lying about it, you still run the risk of them realizing later that you knew all along. It's a trust & respect thing, I think.
What about keeping a secret in the interest of self-preservation? But, then, what kind of self-preservation? Is keeping a secret to protect your own feelings okay? What if it's a matter of life or death? Is it okay to keep a secret to protect your life? What about the life of someone else?
Is it alright to keep a secret only when the consequences have been thoroughly weighed? When you have a really good idea of all the positive things that could happen — or negative things that could be avoided — by keeping silent?
When IS it okay to keep a secret?
Honestly, I have almost always erred on the side of caution & just ‘fessed up whenever an opportunity presented itself. . . Unless it is someone else's secret I have vowed to keep. . . &, even then, I usually only vow to keep it if I can do so without lying — in other words, I've always said that if I am asked a direct question, I will not lie. . .
I know. I am being vague. Oh well. It's just a question that popped into my mind based off a private conversation I had with one of my besties recently. . . I thought I would ponder “aloud.” What do YOU think? When is it okay to keep a secret?
Tough one, really.
Surprises are fine to keep. And confidences. The word ‘secret’ has overtones. I tend to be wary of things which ‘shouldn’t’ be discussed openly, if it’s not something which is somebody’s own private business.