I have been saying a lot lately that I am a “words & numbers” kind of gal. . . I have a way with words & I remember numbers fairly easily.
I remember how things look when written on the page, rather than spoken aloud. I even communicate better in written form than any other. (Yet, I can translate how I write into how I speak when given the chance to process it properly.)
The same is true for numbers. Formulas & processes are no problem. (It makes some of the mathematical processes seep into my brain astonishingly quick at times.) Yet anything spacial (such as graphing or shapes or even arranging my living room!) can be quite the struggle for me.
I can practically write “novels” when I have a chance to explain something. (This post is the perfect example; it started as a long-winded Facebook status update!) Yet I can just as easily get lost in a budget spreadsheet.
I am an odd duck, I guess. It has been on my mind a lot lately. . . I've chosen finance as my major in going back to school, but I could have just as easily chosen English or communications or, more specifically, something having to do with writing. . . I wonder why I chose the way I did? I am not exactly second-guessing my decision. . . But I am analyzing it. Such a curious thing. . .
The more I think about it, I wonder if it is because, as a writer, I have to put myself “out there.” That is quite daunting. Excruciating vulnerability. I don't know if I have that in me. . .
Blogging is fine & dandy. I do not monetize my blog &, frankly, am not sure I will ever get to a point that I'd really want to. This is a space to share my thoughts, dancing right up to the line of what I find comfortable, but rarely going over it.
I've had aspirations to actually write a novel one day, but I second-guess any creative ideas that even remotely drift through my brain. No matter how far-fetched, most fictional works I have ever heard of have some root — no matter how small — in reality. I am not sure I am ready to share the shocking stuff about my life with the world — even if it is under the veil of a fictional novel, with characters that may or may not at least slightly resemble myself or people I know. . .
Could you imagine?! I can. In an uncountable amount of ways. The variables are endless in regard to how it could turn out! It is downright daunting!
It's an internal struggle. On the one hand, it could be a rewarding experience; on the other, it could be just way too much stress. . . & for what?!
I guess it's no wonder I chose the major that I did. Finance is the most logical choice. It still plays to my strengths, it is an industry that is quantitative (in more ways than one), & it's a field that is growing & that will remain in demand for the foreseeable future. . . A wise choice, indeed.
Yet, in the back of mind will always be writing. . . No doubt, though, had I chosen writing, I would still hunger for numbers. . . As I said, I am a “words & numbers” kind of gal. . .
Maybe, one day, I will actually be able to successfully juggle both? Now that's something to think about. . .