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Have you ever caught yourself going through the motions of life, just to take a seemingly rare pause & realize you feel all alone? There are people all around you, but you feel disconnected. You don't fit in. There's so much to do & so little time to do it in — & it feels like there's no one to help. It's just YOU. Somehow, you're isolated in your own life!
1). Create an opening.
If you're feeling alone, is there a possibility that you're the one putting yourself in quarantine — at least to an extent? Feeling isolated in your own life doesn't happen overnight. And, chances are, even if outside forces contributed to it, you probably have habits that don't help too.
Do you stay home most of the time? Do you avoid other people? Do you tend to stay quiet? Or do you speak up when given the opportunity? Are you involved in any clubs or groups where you meet on a regular basis?
Whether online or in person, start somewhere! Evaluate your habits & see where you can be more open to letting others in. Isolation comes from being ALONE. And if you're not always alone, that's the first step to not feeling alone, right? YOU can control whether you feel isolated in your own life.
2). Be willing to be a good friend.
You don't have to be Mother Theresa! Sainthood isn't necessary. You don't even have to pretend to like everyone! 😉 BUT, pay attention to the qualities of people with whom you DO jive.
Initiate contact & conversation. Check in. Give sincere compliments & constructive feedback when appropriate. Do the things friends do. Be the kind of person YOU would want in your life.
Perfection isn't necessary (nor attainable)! But, effort IS. Give it a try. Practice. Find the parts you enjoy & be willing to put yourself out there.
3). Learn to take calculated risks.
So, there's an interesting community group starting at your church? Take a chance & join it! There's a book club starting up that you heard about — but you don't know anyone? Participate anyway!!! You found a RAD new home business you want to try out with a culture that seems inviting? Take the leap! A new acquaintance invited you to coffee? Go get your java on!!
It feels scary, right? Risky business? Yeah. I feel you. I have been there — & I revisit often. (I am not in the habit of lying on here!) But, when you think about it, the potential payout FAR outweighs the negative affect these activities (& others like them) will have on you, right?
THAT'S what makes a calculated risk. Take it. Might you fall? Sure. But, chances are, you'll gain much more…
4). Share the load.
When you feel isolated in your own life, many times, the feeling comes from holding onto the burden of something that isn't meant for you to hold by yourself. Maybe it's not even ONE thing. Perhaps you have several things eating at you.
Do you have someone to talk to? Someone who won't judge you? Is there someone in your life you can unload your worries & frustrations to without any fear of it being held against you?
Sometimes advice is good, sure. And, if you can find yourself a trustworthy, realiable source for a good two-sided conversation like that? Even better! But, just being able to get things out of your head is SO VALUABLE!
A best friend, a spouse, a pastor, a community group at church — PRAYER. Ya'll. The power of prayer! God IS good. And if you've accepted Jesus, you know the Holy Spirit isn't just WITH you, but also IN you… & prayer is SO powerful! He acts & heals & I, personally, can feel my burden lifted simply by bringing it to Him. Seriously.
But, for you? Take your pick of one or several of those. Even make an appointment with a psychologist or counselor. (I see one regularly!)
The point is, do not hold it all in. That's toxicity & it adds to your solitude. Don't do that to yourself.
Feeling isolated in your own life doesn't have to be permanent!
You have more control over you circumstances than you might realize. Take a deep breath & take the leap into making a few changes. Then, see what happens.
Want to continue this conversation?
I'd love to! Email me at retajayne@confidenceandchaos.com or shoot me a private message.