husband

A Rainbow in Even the Darkest of Clouds

I will be honest; I wasn’t going to write anything for Ten Things of Thankful. Again. Ugh. BUT, then I remembered that this week marks the 100th week! So, I should probably pull my crap together to be a part of it, eh? 😉

I am grateful Ten Things of Thankful exists. (Thankful #1) I might not participate as often as I would like or as often as I really should, but it is a nudge in the right direction when my thoughts get too gloomy. Heck! Even when I don’t participate, knowing it is out there has me thinking about what I would write if I wasn’t so caught up in my own thoughts to the point where I can’t untangle the mess enough to create a post. The reminder to be thankful sometimes is enough.

Rainbow in CloudsRead More »A Rainbow in Even the Darkest of Clouds

Embrace the Contradictions (TToT #18)

I am a woman of contradictions.

Black AND white. 😉 (Yeah. I had to work that in there. LOL. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t!)

Timid, yet bold.

I like to socialize, but I really am an introverted homebody.

I am enjoying math & being a student, but I really like having an outlet through my writing.

Calculated AND creative. . . (but, lately, I feel more like I’m calculating with not enough creating).

I am a woman of extremes — one extreme or the other. It’s frustrating sometimes. . . But, it’s usually only frustrating when I can’t figure out how to balance all these different parts of me.

With that said, I am in a place in life where I am so, so blessed to be able to figure all of that out. (Thankful #1)

They are a part of me, so I might as well. (Image from morgueFile.com)

They are a part of me, so I might as well. (Image from morgueFile.com)

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Compassion & Time with Loved Ones (TToT #17)

This week’s thankfuls are pretty straight-forward. . .

 
I am so very thankful to have had my nine-year-old son down for a visit for a good ten days. (Thankful #1) He left super early on Tuesday morning. Those goodybyes are always so, so hard. . . But they are getting easier because it is becoming easier to realize that I will see him again soon. (Thankful #2) Plus, the handsome husband & I can go back to not worrying about how much (or how little) clothing we are wearing around the house! (Thankful #3) LOL. A nine-year-old boy just does not need to see certain things! 😉
 
My baby brother & his daughter!

My baby brother & his daughter!

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The Happiest I’ve Ever Been

For as long as I can remember, I’ve considered myself an “all or nothing” kind of person. I give things my all or I give nothing. I do something to the absolute best of my ability, or I don’t even attempt it. If I cannot do it right, why should I do it at all?

This way of thinking has been tremendously helpful on so many occasions. . . It helps me leave something alone so I can clear my mind to move on to the next. . . But, it also has me passing up good or fun opportunities out of fear that I won’t be good at them.

Wait. What? Fear? Out of FEAR? Surely not. It’s a matter of fact, not a matter of fear. Right?

Ugh. I don’t know any more.

The point is that, as a result of this way of thinking, when I finally get around to actually setting my mind to something, I am mostly successful & happy in regard to it. The flip side is that it takes me FOREVER to get around to actually making my mind up & taking action.

It's a sickening roller-coaster ride. . . (Image from morgueFile.com)

It’s a sickening roller-coaster ride. . . (Image from morgueFile.com)

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Nerd-Status, Kid Visit, & One Year in Hell (TToT #15)

It’s been a ridiculously long amount of time since I last did a Ten Things of Thankful (TToT) post. Since I treat Calculated Chaos like my online diary, broadcasting all kinds of nastiness to the world, TToT, in my opinion, is a much-needed reprieve from all the negative crap that I need to vent about. It gives me a chance to focus on the good — or even just find the good, at times; I am always grateful for that. (Thankful #1) The handsome husband refers to it as my “My husband is so sexy & handsome & awesome” posts (or something to that effect) because he is one of the “things” I am grateful for the most often. Haha. 😉

It's been a while. . . (Image from morgueFile.com)

It’s been a while. . . (Image from morgueFile.com)

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New Year, New Focus (On Purpose #11)

In a little more than 48 hours, we leave 2014 behind & dive into the new year of 2015. It’s a clean slate of sorts for many. . . Just another day for others. . . For me, it is something in between.

I am not usually in the habit of New Year Resolutions. . . But, I am constantly making new goals & monitoring & revising goals that I have already set for myself. . . The bulk of this comes around my birthday (November 16), so the new year is nearly perfect timing to take another look at how those new goals are shaping up & to fine-tune what I really want to be focusing on over the next several months. . .

It is time to focus in on those goals. (Image from morgueFile.com)

It is time to focus in on those goals. (Image from morgueFile.com)

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That’s a Wrap, 2014 (TToT #13)

Oh. My. Word! It just dawned on me that this is the LAST Ten Things of Thankful post of the year! Say, what?! I know it’s terribly cliché to say so, but time really does fly. . . Where has the year gone??

So, I thought I would go through my year — full of its ups & downs — & find this week’s thankfuls among those. . . Bear with me, this is gonna be a long one! (But I was sure to link up to other posts throughout the year that pertain to this recap, of sorts, so try to have fun with it, will ya?)

Ups & downs. . . Yet full of thankfuls. (Image from morgueFile.com)

                                                Ups & downs. . . Yet full of thankfuls. (Image from morgueFile.com)                                             I am chuckling to myself because in all of my carefulness, I still messed up my TToT numbering. . . HOURS after publishing, I realized that TWO weeks ago, I duplicated the numbers & didn’t catch it. . . This is actually TToT #13. I updated the title, but have decided to leave the “evidence” of this little mess up in this picture & in the URL for this post, as well as last week’s TToT post. Haha. Hope you get a little laugh out of this too! Eh. It is what it is. What can I say? 😉

 

 

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New Year Anniversary

Now that Christmas is pretty much over, I am on to thinking about the new year. . . In one week, on January 1, it will mark two years since the birth of Calculated Chaos. Craziness! It has been light & dark. . . A post-a-day to nothing for months. . . My online journal of sorts. It has to be odd to actually be a follower of this craziness. . . But, for those of you that have found me in my little corner of the cyber world, I thank you for sticking around. . .

(Image from morgueFile.com)

(Image from morgueFile.com)

It’s been highly therapeutic for me. . . Not only in the form of having an outlet for the craziness that takes over my brain, but also for the friends that I have made or become closer to as a result of this blog. . . Read More »New Year Anniversary