mother

40 Before 40 (in a Pandemic)

Hitting a milestone birthday is a weird mix between exciting & exhilarating. To determine which one the scale tips a bit more toward, I think it might depend on WHICH birthday we’re talking about… BUT, for me, there’s a lot of emotional baggage attached to my next couple of birthdays. So, my ultimate 40 before 40 list of things to accomplish before the age of 40 holds some extra personal meaning! There’s less than a… Read More »40 Before 40 (in a Pandemic)

what would you do if you knew you would be dead in just 2 years? The family took a photo on Easter Day 1998. "Pie" was mom's nickname. Get Well Pie.

What If You Were Going to Be Dead in Just 2 Years?

I’m not really dying. Or, at least, I have no real reason to believe it. But, since I was a teenager, I’ve had this irrational belief that I wouldn’t make it to my 41st birthday. I just turned 39 years old. You do the math! So, what would you do if you were going to be dead in just 2 years?? When I was 16 years old, I got a phone call from my step… Read More »What If You Were Going to Be Dead in Just 2 Years?

your past does not define you, it is only part of your story, confidence & chaos, reta jayne, from the heart of pie

Your Past Does Not Define You; It Is Only Part of Your Story

There are moments in life that mark a very clear before & after. It’s a point in your life’s timeline when, in looking back, you can clearly see a remarkable change as a result of an event. Do you know the types of events I am talking about? Some are devastating. But some are so wonderful. The thing they all have in common, however, is that they are life-altering events that lead to regret if we’re not careful. What we need to remember is that your past does not define you. It can’t possibly give a clear picture of who you are; it’s just part of your story.

your past does not define you, it is only part of your story, confidence & chaos, reta jayne, from the heart of pie
Read More »Your Past Does Not Define You; It Is Only Part of Your Story
reta jayne, grandma, & eva lee posing for a picture by the river about two years before grandma died

After My Grandma Died

Lately, I have been feeling… Conflicted — & STUCK.

I don’t know how else to describe it. Since my grandma died last month, I’ve felt like I’ve been hit by a truck. I knew it was coming, but it was still a shock when it finally arrived. I cried so many tears leading up to her death I was shocked I had so many left afterward.

But I did.

There were so many, I could hardly breathe.

reta jayne, grandma, & eva lee posing for a picture by the river about two years before grandma died
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When It Hurts to Say, “Happy Mothers Day”

Mothers Day is always a rough holiday for me. I know I can’t be the only one.

Some take issue with it because their mothers are gone; others take issue because they have tried with all of their might to become mothers, but, for whatever reason, it just has not happened. Still others just didn’t have a mother — or had one that wasn’t exactly loving.

In my case, it is not quite that simple. (Is it ever?)

The iris: my mom's favorite flower. (Image from morguefile.com)

The iris: my mom’s favorite flower. (Image from morguefile.com)

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Math, a Little Man, & a Little Miss (TToT #16)

I have been a bit withdrawn lately. . . I think about trying to socialize more — in the blogosphere, reaching out to some local friends, making a call to my friends back home (in Washington) — but, I just don’t have the desire energy to deal with it. That sounds bitchy, but I swear it’s not. Maybe I’ll talk more about that another time. . .

Life & Death in nearly the same spot. (Image from morgueFile.com)

Life & Death in nearly the same spot. (Image from morgueFile.com)

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Confessions of a Facebook Addict

I have been a Facebook addict for quite some time now. . . I couldn’t tell you when it happened or even when I realized it had happened. . .  But, it  is among the first things I do when I wake up, among the last before going to sleep, & what I find myself mindlessly checking when I am bored or waiting for an appointment. I don’t usually post my meals or cat videos (Yuck! I am not a cat person!), but there are some other telling signs of (&, perhaps, reasons for) my addiction. . .

It is an addiction. (Image from morgueFile.com)

It is an addiction. . . But it’s not necessarily a bad thing. (Image from morgueFile.com)

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Family: The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. (TToT #2)

Twenty-four years ago (on August 16) — exactly three months before my ninth birthday, my baby brother was born! (Happy birthday, Ron!) I have a hard time picturing him as the young man that he is. . . In my eyes, he is still the eight-year-old boy that he was when I left home after our mother died. I am thankful that God saw to it that our mother helped him into the world just eight short years before she passed (Thankful #1). He has been a blessing (& a burden! ha ha) in my life & I wouldn’t trade him for anything!

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An old pic of the little bro. About 4 years ago.

Read More »Family: The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. (TToT #2)