The Makings of Disturbing Dreams

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It started a couple of weeks ago… I woke up distraught & in tears over a dream. It wasn't the first vivid pregnancy dream I've had so far this pregnancy, but it WAS the first that was disturbing & angst-ridden.

It was a dream so many of the details are fuzzy — or just not there — but, basically, the handsome husband (HH)​ & I were walking along a sidewalk, presumably outside a big box store of some sort (think: Target or Walmart or something of that sort). We were taking our time, in the middle of the day, making our way to our vehicle, parked a bit away.

All of a sudden, a couple of guys started yelling something at us. I don't even know what it was, I just know it was upsetting. We tried ignoring them, but they just kept on. HH finally said something & attempted to scare them away. All but one were frightened off by whatever it was he said & whatever gestures he made with his back towards me.

The one guy that remained still wouldn't stop. He became more & more threatening — in both his words & his proximity & actions. HH hauled off & decked him, spun on his heel, took me by the elbow & guided me — at a much quicker pace — towards our vehicle.

Shockingly, the guy recovered rather quickly. (This was a dream, after all.) He rushed up on HH & hit him over the back of the head with something. . . I don't know what it was — some kind of object. HH stumbled forward, simultaneously letting go of me & nudging me out-of-the-way.

In the next couple of seconds, the guy hit HH a couple more times, rapidly. When he was done, HH was lying on the asphalt in a pool of blood & the guy was running off into the distance. I was sobbing & trying to scream, but no one was around. There were cars in the parking lot, but it was void of actual people — or even movement other than a slight breeze. Think ghost town. Eerie.

I woke up right after I looked down at HH's blood-smeared face. It hardly looked like him & he wasn't breathing.

It was awful! I don't normally remember dreams, but this one has stuck with me for weeks now.

Since then, I've dreamt of people close to me dying too, (namely, HH again & my grandmother)… These dreams aren't nearly as vivid, but they take place AFTER the death has occurred, during the aftermath, while I am trying to process the loss. . . I sit upright, with crocodile tears streaming down my face, pillow soaked, trying to remind myself that everything is fine & that it was just a dream…

The thing is, the more recent “dreams,” I doubt are dreams at all. I wasn't all the way asleep. . . I was in that stage that feels like sleep, but I could swear I could still hear the dog restlessly wandering around the bedroom & HH out in the livingroom watching television or playing a game.. .

I'd wonder what this all meant — & try to decipher the “meaning” of it all — but I suspect it's just another cruel joke played by pregnancy hormones… Ugh. Ain't it grand? :/

What was the last disturbing dream you had? What do you think caused it?